According to my experience over the years in Counselling Married Couples, I have observed that there are unresolved conflicts. The number one reason for most of the Conflicts is Misunderstanding & Barriers in Communication. Married Couples always blame and complain about the other partner for “Not Understanding” 

I have designed a list of 25 questions that will help you to be aware and get insights into your Communication and help you to understand yourself and your spouse better. 

To do this exercise, take some Time off and a Blank Sheet of Paper or a Notebook and answer the question in absolute detail. Suggest that both of you must do this separately without seeing each other’s answers.

1. What are 10 Good Points or Strengths about your Spouse?
2. What are 10 Weak Points or Areas of Improvement about your Spouse?
3. What do you Expect from your Spouse, List at least 5 things?
4.  What does your Spouse Expect from You, List at least 5 things?
5.  In what ways do you Express your Love to your Spouse?
6.  How does your Spouse Express His/Her Love to you?
7.  How do you get your Spouse’s attention for communicating important things?
8. What do you do when your spouse gets angry in an argument?
9. How do you express your anger or displeasure?
10. What are the topics on which most of the time there are disagreements?
11. What is one way you can implement clarification into your daily conversations with your partner?
12.  What do you think is your biggest struggle when it comes to communicating with your spouse?
13.  What can you do to overcome this struggle?
14.  What can your partner do to help you overcome this struggle?
15. What is your Communication Style? (Passive, Aggressive or Assertive)
16. What is your Partner’s Communication Style? (Passive, Aggressive or Assertive)
17. When there is a Conflict and Communications Stops, how do you or your spouse restart it?
18. Have you developed a Love Language for each other?
19. What are some of the topics that you have the most difficulty communicating with your spouse or have a fear to talk about?
20. Do you or your spouse shout and yell at each other?
21. Do you use WhatsApp to communicate with your spouse?
22. Do you assume and think too much instead of talking it out directly?
23. Do you listen to your spouse?
24. Does your spouse listen to you?
25. Whom do you approach when there are differences of opinion or ego clashes?

Once the 25 questions are answered take some time to think about the answers and then share your answers with each other.

Clarify with each other your thoughts and views. This is a very Powerful exercise and activity to help understand each other better.

Shabbar Suterwala
Spreading the Smiles
Pre and Post Marriage Counsellor
The Counselling Sessions are via Video Calls.
For Details & Appointments WhatsApp +919892225864